: Japanese three-line poem in a 5-7-5 syllable format.


Haiku for Scott  


the general worship collection:

scott speedman, our god
worshipping you day and night
we get no work done.


Not one single flaw
More perfect than perfection
How do you do it?


Eyes both blue and green
Each stare takes my breath away
Windows to your soul.

Scott, you humble saint
You not knowing you're perfect
Makes us love you more.

Scott, what did you say?
See, you mumble when you speak.

Take it off, baby.
Just stand there and look god-like
while we worship you.

Sweet Scott and Keri,
You can't hide your love from us.
Just get married now.

You rub your belly.
You rub it all day and night.

Have we told you all
that we are sexier than
Speedy? Well, close call.

Sitting in the booth
Stoned and dazed at MuchMusic
Hey, a star is born.

Next time at a bar,
You find you need a free drink
I'll pay; I'm easy.

U of T drop-out
Good thing college was a bust
We need you to act.

Dear Scott, who's a Scot
If we buy you a cool kilt,
Please go full monty.

Dear Warner Brothers,
Cast Scott in T3
Arnold will be pleased.

the felicity collection

Dear clueless Noel fans:
I scoff at your ignorance
Go watch "Dawson's Creek."

Lauren, you're so old.
Ben doesn't love you at all.
Have a martini!

Closet is dark, Noel.
Open the door, Richard's there.
Do not fear! You're queer!

Noel, you're not depressed.
You're just a selfish dickmunch
who should die. Quickly.

In those swimming scenes
You're adjusting your package
Do it again, babe.

Hey, JJ and Matt:
You should e-mail us today.
Our wisdom is gold.

Dumb winter hiatus
I need Speedman every week
Jordan Levin sucks.

the making-fun-of-scott's-other-works collection

Ode to Shining Worm
Grant us an introduction;
We will die happy.

Can you unravel
the mystery that is you?
Or just Nancy Drew?

Dearest Gwynnie-poo?
Crawl into your hole and die.
Scott? We forgive you.

You deserve better
Film roles that meet your talent,
Not shit like Duets.



This site has been brought to you by the Goddesses of the Universe and the letter Q. This site claims no affiliation to Mr. Scott Speedman, his family or anyone he knows, and we cannot put you in touch with him. But if you could put us in touch with him, we'd be ever so grateful. We promise, we're not stalkers.

copyright 2001 goddesses inc.
copyright 1998-2001 marianne